Saracens 3rds 45 – 5 Phones


This week the chair reports from North Bristol, as the Phones take on the Bristiol Sarries 3rds


Travelling to take on the “flexible” league leaders on their own patch, would have been a tough enough ask with a full strength team. But to turn up at the ground at 20 to 3, and see the all too familiar story of missing faces, suggested a tough afternoon for those committed souls who prepared to try and unseat the table toppers.

It was pleasing to see that the run on XV surged into the contest from the first whistle, as we are all too often stand offish for the first 15 minutes.

However, getting our hands on the ball in the early stages proved beyond us, and we were forced to defend against a constant stream if attacks from all parts of the home team’s lineup. Something had to give, and eventually Saracens crossed the whitewash in quick succession, though one was a gift interception.

After conceding these tries we gradually got into the game, with Ross House leading the way with some barnstorming charges. Unfortunately, we still lack that clinical edge that allows us to capitalise on the half-chances that we create. Our opponents on the other hand, seemed to score every time that had a sniff of our line.

We did get some reward for a powerful passage of play by the forwards, when “The Swede” (Tom Gustafson…look in Friday’s Post to see how they spell it) drove over from close range. To leave the half time score at 33-5 to Sarries.

Playing up the hill in the second period, the boys produced a highly competitive performance, with the home team adding just two further tries, while once more we just couldn’t finish off what we had started. They even beat us in the yellow card count, receiving three, while we couldn’t manage even one.

The scrummage was solid throughout, with “Rhino” (Kalum Stiddard) making his senior front row debut, and holding up for the whole 80 minutes, and All About the Money (Jason Money) propping most of the 80 minutes at loose head on one leg. Fantastic commitment to the ‘Phones cause boys!

The lineout also went well, with Sean Lacey and “Mental Matt” (Matt Stokes) both throwing in accurately, and young Josh Rogers and veteran Andy Francombe securing some good  ball. It is so good to see that we now have options in this facet of the game.

It may have been an “L” in the results column, but those players that made an appearance for however long deserve great credit for being there and giving their all. Also once more the loyal travelling band of supporters, including the Old Man for taking the photos, but forgetting to pick up Bernie…oh and despite getting the Chair hot chocolate when he wanted Bovril.

Up the Rugby

The Chair

Quotes of the Week:

Richard ‘Fatty’ Palmer – Josh Rogers can do everything his father never could….like run”

Nathan Rogers to ‘Fatty’ – ...”No wonder my body’s in the state it is (not quite the way he put it…but you can imagine for yourselves), having to pull you in, keep you down and push behind you all those years!”

Chair – ...”I was lucky…when I was locking the scrum he was either suspended or in the second team”
‘Fatty’ –  %%&^&%$%$££$£$££!!! you !

Next Fixture – Updated

Sat 25/10/2014 3pm KO

 Bristol Saracens RFC



What no Chips!


Exclusive – Disappointment over after match grub causes dejection in Full-backs!

As reported by the Chair….

Callum Bouncer Partridge had heard that the coach has banned chips from the after match meal.”

In other (related) news!

No match for the Phones this week, so the conversation of the week, brought to you via Worcester.

Chair has been to watch Bouncer play for Worcester Wanderers:
Over an after match pint
Chair to Bouncer…”no one took a video of the match today then?”
Bouncer…”no, he is away filming the ladies (Worcester Ladies XV)”
Chair…”Oh, he’s a pervert then?”
Bouncer…”I prefer to call him an opportunist!”

Can’t argue with that, can you.


The Chair…

With a little help from the Phones


Old Bristolians U13 girls rugby team had their first competitive outing this Sunday (19/10/2014) at Old Richians RFC. The ‘Pitch Up and Play’ event organised by the GRFU and RFU saw u13 girls teams from Old Richians, Kingswood, Old Bristolians and Drybrook compete in a round robin event designed to get girls playing together and for coaches and parents to network. No scores were recorded on the day as it’s the playing that’s important here, not the result.

Joined by Phones old  campaigners, Mae Slocombe and Teegan Williams,  OB’s put in a great first performance, one they can certainly be proud of. The girls inexperience eclipsed by their commitment and determination. Well done all that took part.

Bish 27 – 24 Phones

Andy Francombe

Let me do a “Fatty” Palmer, and start this week’s match report with a moan.

Last week, we produced as a good a performance in the second half against BAC, as I have seen us give in a long while. Amazingly, this led to a downturn in numbers at training last Tuesday, and was followed up by a makeshift squad having to take the field against Bishopston 2nds on Saturday. The players are only going to improve individually and as a team, if they train and play. You will learn nothing led in bed or shopping, or whatever other delights you indulge in, instead of supporting your team mates and your club.

Right, I’m not “Fatty” any more, back to being Scoop the Chair.

A game that started in a torrential downpour, and finished in bright sunshine, produced a whole spectrum of emotions for the loyal band of ‘Phones supporters on Saturday afternoon.  Due to unavailability, we were once more forced to field forwards amongst the Girls in the backs, and the way that Bish moved the ball amongst their side of UWE students in the early stages suggested a long afternoon was in store for the ‘Phones. However, playing out of position, young Josh Rogers tackled like a demon in the centre, and with Wayne Socket carrying the ball strongly at every opportunity, the team dragged itself back into the game, and exposed our young opponents as a poor defensive unit.

Beechy at No. 8 managed to hang onto the back of a scrum that marched forward from a 5 metre scrum, like a ‘Phones scrum of old, and got the touch down to put us 5-0 up. The team seemed galvanised and self belief grew, the ball was moved through a number of hands before flanker Adam “Saddam” Breakey barged over in the corner, for his first try for the club, to put us 10-0 up at the break.
The students obviously had something distinctly dodgy in their half time water, as they came out, and ran us off of our feet. To be fair to them, their first try straight from the kick off was a classic, with well times passing and support play, all done at pace. As we conceded four tries and slipped to 10-22 down, things were looking bleak, and the attraction of the MMA contest taking part behind us, between Bish and Ashley Down 1sts, was starting to look more and more appealing.

However, despite having to go to uncontested scrums, where we were dominant, the boys found some inspiration, and Shaun “Young Hobbsy” Hobbs another forward, filling in on the wing, wriggled over for a try that “BFJ” Jonny Hodgson converted superbly from the touchline.  Before we drew breath, the ball was kicked through, and “Young Hobbsy” beat the cover to win the race for the touchdown. “BFJ” once more converted from the touchline, and the side was suddenly 24-22 ahead, and looking likely to secure an unlikely win. Unfortunately, the game turned on two controversial decisions by Referee Stuart Brain. Firstly he denied “Franky” a try, calling play back for a very tight forward pass, before allowing a try for the home side, where there was some considerable doubt about the legal grounding of the ball.

The match was lost, but I was very proud of the 17 players on duty, who gave their all against a side that strictly speaking is in the division above us.

Three Men of the Match this week:

“Young Hobbsy” – Two tries in his first game on the wing.

Wayne Socket – Carried the ball into the heart of the opposition on numerous occasions.

“The Swede” – Always abrasive and at the heart of the defensive action.

Conversation of the Week:
Fatty to the Chair…”their bar staff are better looking than ours”.
Chair to Fatty…”yeah, but ours are quicker”.
Fatty to Chair…”I’d rather have good looking and slow”
Chair to Fatty…”Probably been a long time since you experienced that mate”.

Footnote from the Admin: In the absence of an in context photo for this post I will revert to the example set by our fiends at the Post and use an old picture of Franky!

Phones girls at Weston Hornets


The Phones u13 girls rugby team went to Weston this weekend to team up with Yeovil girls again, this time  against Hornets. In their first real club clash the girls met a tough opposition but got stuck in and played some great rugby. Well done girls onwards and upwards.

Girls team to return favour


Last weeks Phones, Yeovil collaboration at the Somerset u13 Girls festival is repeated this week (Sun 12/10/2014), in reverse. Our girls will travel to Weston and play in Yeovil colours  against Hornets RFC. The game kicks off at 13:30, so if you can, come along and support the girls. Good luck girls!


Phones win out over BAC II’s 32-10

phones v BAC 3

Despite the rain earlier in the day, the BAWA club laid on sunshine and a firm pitch for our South Reserve League match on Saturday.

The usual pre-match rumours about…”their first team hasn’t got a game” etc. seemed to have been given some weight with the first 20 minutes being played inside the ‘Phones half.

The arrival of Veteran Dave Button on the line coincided with the team’s first visit into BAC’s 22, and the ageless Andy Francombe took a scoring pass…yes a pass from his fellow flanker Adrian Beech. No sliding in for Franky, just dab the ball down over the whitewash and get on with the game.

The team seemed inspired by this score, and within minutes, Beech, emerged from the far side of a maul, to stroll home from 20 metres, again touching down without any fuss or bother. The consensus from the line was that he didn’t actually know how to slide or dive.

10-0 up, a period of mental relaxation allowed BAC to regain a foothold in the match, and a penalty followed by a converted try on half time, meant turning round all square at 10-10.

The second half produced the best rugby of the season, as we moved the ball through the hands, and supported the ball carrier, which allowed moves to be kept alive, rather than grinding to a halt at the first phase. Not only did this brand of rugby look good, it was highly effective.

Second half tries from skipper Luke Inman and Callum Dicker who both crossed the whitewash twice, and Lewis Dicker, along with two conversions from the BFJ (Jonny Hodgson), saw the final score to 32-10 to the ‘Phones.

Well done to the whole squad for a fine result, and for entertaining us with some flowing rugby. Now if we can just get R Scott on the pitch and the Old Man off it to keep quiet……

Man of the Match:
Luke Inman – covered every blade of grass, scored two tries, and improves as a leader every week.

Quote(s) of the week:
During the match:
The referee gives a forward pass.
The Chair…”that was right, Wayne over ran him”
Pickles…”I should friggin hope so, it was BFJ inside him”

After the Match:
Nathan is holding court, telling all and sundry how well he is doing on his diet…honestly he was.
The Chair to Pickles…”so what do you think Emma’s favourite position is?”
Pickles…”Nath upstairs and her downstairs I should think!”

Phones you crack me up.

The Chair

U13 Girls team kicks off in style


The Phones u13 Girls team had their first competitive outing today at the Somerset festival in Bath. Up against established teams such as Drybrook, Minehead and Winscombe we were all wondering what our girls could do. Helped by three girls from Ivel RFC the 9 strong squad were an unknown quantity. I don’t mind admitting I was more than a little nervous. I need not have been, they were fantastic. All that hard work at training paid off as they gave a good account of themselves against a strong Winscombe team from the off. By the Final game against Minehead they had really begun to work as a unit with some great trys and equally good defense and support work, delivering a well deserved victory.

I’d like to thank Lianne Lloyd, Mike Dicker and Sean Garton for their coaching support. Also to all the mums and dads for their support.


Teegan Williams, Megan Barwick, Ceri Roberts, Charlotte Garton

Mae Slocombe, Becky Osborne, Jasmine Barwick, Charlie Osbourne, Jodie Genes


Gin Fest



This Saturday…prior to the Club Trip into town, there will be a Gin Fest at the Club House.
Starts 6.30ish til stocks exhausted or everyone goes down town.

There will be variety of Gins available at the give away price of £7 for five tickets (a measure of each variety) or £1.50 for a Gordon’s.

Be there, or……Be Sober!

The Chair